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IT
WAS ICHCHA MARANA (self determined death)
He Did Not Like Complaints
Report
by - CNB
Photos - K.M. Veeresh, Vajreshwari
Combines, and chitraloka file photos
Date
-10/04/2006
Time - 10.45 PM
He
knew that his life is coming to an end. He liked it and
left all of us. It is not just death but, Ichcha Marana
– self determined death.
Last three days he was not taking his food properly.
He was not
even talking to us properly. There was a big difference
in his attitudes which I failed to recognize. Being with
him always it could not become possible for me to identify
his moves. If I
think now I find meaning for each of his movements. It should have
struck to me then. But the almighty did not give me so much of intelligence.
 My
husband's Yoga Guru Naiker says he had made preparations
for his death a month ago. It is possible to leave the
breath according to the wish. He knew that powerful knowledge.
He had learnt it from his Guru. According to it he felt
his work is over on earth. It is enough he felt and left.
That day was Wednesday. The developments on that hold a mirror
to so many. He made me to get up early on that day. He
sent me to physiotherapy. Normally I come before 11.30
after physiotherapy. When everyone inquired about Dr.Raj
health I said he is alright and very fine in the hospital
I visited. After coming to house sitting with him for
some time was the usual practice. I did not take my breakfast on
that day. My sugar was low. Let me eat my breakfast I decided and
he was sitting in his place.
Now I remember what he had told. Had it come to my intelligence
it would have been very good. I was angry about the 'Upma' breakfast
made on that day. He turned towards me and told whatever the Yajamani
(owner of the house) ask for it get it prepared and give it. He
gave a look to me that was quite different. I did not understand
the motive behind that look.
 Before
that he was very jolly and chatting with everyone in the
house. He sung 12 devotional songs. He gave entertainment
for everyone on that day. He took photographs with available
family members. He was extremely happy.
Later on When I looked at him he was watching television and taking
rest. Suddenly there was big variation in his breath. When I went
and saw everything was over. The tipf head (Neththi) was very warm.
Eyes were not moving. Then we took him to hospital. He was given
shock treatment by Dr.Ramana Rao. When the shock treatment was given
and oxygen was pumped the eyes did not made movement. Normally when
the eye balls move then it is ok but his eye balls were standstill.
Now If I think about all this every frame comes to my mind. Fifteen
days ago he spoke to me a lot. I have done injustice to
you Parvathi he said, you excuse me he said. I have troubled
your mind very much he quipped.
 I
am nobody to excuse you. I should ask excuse with you.
When we do the service for you there is benefit for us.
When you are fine then we will be also fine explained.
That is true. Because of him we have the identity. There
is nothing wrong in you when Veerappan took you to the
forest. For the pain underwent from it you are not responsible
I told him. Yet the sorrows and misery had not gone from
him. Immediately he reacted and said everyone claim that
the mother who gave birth to Rajkumar is great. My mother
gave birth to one Rajkumar but you have given birth to
three Rajkumar he patted me. You have also given birth
to two female. You are great mother he appreciated me.
He told all this very emotionally. Like how the mother
hen protects the chickens you have safeguarded all of
us he remarked. On that night we both became emotional
and cried remembering the past.
Before this one episode comes to my memory. Shivanna showed interest
in 'Bhakta Kumbara'. He was reciting the songs by hearting
and it brought very good shine in my husband's face. Manava
Dehavu...., Elli Mareyadhe..., Eke Dooradhe Vittala…..
Shivanna was singing non stop with good emotions. After
that I thought we should do this film again. I explained
my intention to Dr.Raj. He immediately said you produce
the film. I
questioned him as to why he says you produce, you do the film. It
is all of us to produce the film I told him. For that he told me
that I am the actual producer and made me to forget that issue of
'you produce'.
 Sometime
back he said once he wants to die before I die. For children
mother is important he said. The intimacy for children
is towards the mother, you should live more number of
years than me he expressed.
When Veerappan came to touch my husband I was stubborn to this.
I faced him very strongly. I became very angry on Veerappan. How
can you take him? You have to bring my husband back in the same
situation. Do not think you have won by kidnapping my husband I
replied to Veerappan.
 When
my husband was in the forest I humbly requested him to
release him. Then Veerappan had told with Govindaraju
(one of the hostages) that he had not seen a woman like
Parvathamma. She told me not to touch her husband here
and there. I was startled with her attitudes.
Now my husband has gone to a place from where I cannot bring him
back. That is God. The almighty would not yield to any prayers
Smt.Parvathamma
Rajkumar
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Earlier Writeups - click
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